What Women Want
by WolfRain001
Summary: Shikamaru may be a genius. But does he really know what women want? Can he teach the other Naruto boys? Or will it all crash and burn. No Pairings. Just small hints ;


This is a short story about Shikamaru and his genius laziness. I hope you enjoy! Please review! It give me courage to continue writing little stories like this. Thank You for reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto at all. *pout*

* * *

"Oi! Shikamaru!"

The blonde boy called out to his lazy friend and sped over to him in the full meadow.

When he got there it seemed like the pineapple haired boy was sleeping.

"Eh? Shikamaru? Gaaaaahh!"

The blonde let out a screech of terror when he was suddenly pulled down into the dirt.

"Naruto…must you be so loud when I'm trying to hide?"

His voice was smooth and lazy, accented with sighs.

"Hiding? Why?" The bumbling, blonde idiot asked as he rolled over to stare at the sky like his counterpart.

"Women."

The world rolled off Shikamaru's tongue with distaste.

"Heh, What're you two doin' here?"

They both glanced up and Shikamaru gave a heavy sigh at the second intruder of his hiding place.

"Hey, Kiba! We're hiding from women! Quick, get down before they see you!" Naruto called, frantically looking around like he expected the women to come out and attack that instant.

Kiba scoffed and sat down, "I have no problems with women!"

"Is that why you don't have a girlfriend?" Shikamaru asked with a small smirk.

Kiba sputtered and began to reply but was cut off.

"Ah! My youthful friends!"

"Lee, calm down…"

Neji and Lee joined their group and Shikamaru sighed again.

Chouji walked over with his usual bag of potato chips and sat next to Shikamaru.

"Hiding again, Shika?"

"Dobe…what are you doing?"

Naruto scowled as Sasuke walked over and, surprisingly, joined their circle.

"Teme! We're hiding from women!"

"You aren't doing a very good job of it. You are all in plain sight…" Neji pointed out with a 'Hn' of agreement from Sasuke.

"Why would women chase you anyway, Dobe?" Sasuke asked carelessly.

Naruto puffed up and Shikamaru sat up in a panic, something never seen.

"In plain sight…I need to leave." Shikamaru shot up and ran off and they followed him quickly as he ran into a deserted part of the forest around Konoha.

He fell against a tree and all the other boys crowded around him staring at him in shock.

"I've never seen Shikamaru move so fast!" Several of the boys exclaimed as they sat down.

"Why would the women be after you either?" Sasuke asked with a small frown, actually showing emotion on his usually blank face.

Shikamaru looked up from his seat against the tree, "Because, I know what a woman wants."

All the boys stared at him skeptically.

"What're you know about women? Never see you with any of them." Kiba scoffed and patted Akamaru who had popped out of his jacket.

Chouji snickered as he munched his chips, "Shikamaru is with women more often than not."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and leaned back as though he was completely exhausted.

"Tell us about, Shikamaru. If you are such a god of women." Kiba said with a scoff.

Shikamaru sighed, "A woman wants many things out of a guy, depending on the woman."

The guys nodded seeing the logic in that, some moved closer to hear the geniuses thoughts on women.

"Some like Ino-"

Several boys shuddered or grimaced at the thought of the bossy blonde.

"-Want strong, silent, moody types-like Sasuke. She's not particularly picky unless the guy is a loser. If the guy allows her bossy ways and waits on her hand and foot she's satisfied."

Sasuke gave as close to an eye roll as the almighty Uchiha would give as Shikamaru continued.

"TenTen and Temari have similar interests."

Neji looked a bit more interested as TenTens name was mentioned but did his best to hide it.

"They both are tough Kunoichi and don't want to have to depend on a guy."

"Yosh! Our teammate is indeed strong!" Lee exclaimed, making everyone jump.

"Shh! Lee! We're in hiding!" Naruto exclaimed, just as loudly.

Everyone rolled their eyes and waited for Shikamaru to continue as Lee rambled about running two-hundred laps if they were caught.

"TenTen wants a man that can fight beside her without fighting for her. Temari wants a man that can take her hits."

All the boys snickered at this, "Probably doesn't help that're brothers are both freaks." Kiba added earning a glare from more than one of the group.

"Gaara-San has changed!" Lee said firmly, trying not to be loud. "And Kankuro-San was never particularly odd."

"The guy wears makeup and plays with puppets…Face it, He's weird."

They began to argue, Naruto and Lee defending their Suna friends.

"You would be weird too…going through what Gaara and his family did." Shikamaru said with a look of discomfort at even mentioning it.

That effectively shut them up and a heavy silence loomed over them.

"What about Sakura?" Naruto asked with a goofy grin, effectively setting the mood back.

Shikamaru turned towards Naruto with a raised eyebrow, "Sakura?"

"Yosh! What is my lovely cherry blossom attracted to?" Lee cheered earning a shushing glare from most of the boys.

"Hn." Sasuke said, actually rolling his eyes.

"Sakura likes Sasuke…she's obsessed with him…Even I, a genius, have no clue why or how."

Several of the boys chuckled when Sasuke gave the famous Uchiha glare at the lazy genius.

"What are you all doing?"

They all jumped and looked around for the unknown intruder.

"Oi! Shino! What're you doin here?" Kiba asked when he spotted the silent bug wielder.

"…I was checking the noises I heard this way."

They all looked over at Lee, Kiba and Naruto with glares and the three looked sheepish.

"You didn't bring Hinata with ya did ya?" Kiba asked looking around.

"No." Shino said as he sat down, lapsing into silence.

"What about Hinata-Chan?" Naruto asked, "What kind of guy does she like?"

Shikamaru smirked as he raised a brow at the blondes clueless attitude.

"Hinata likes determined boys." Shikamaru said, simply leaving it at that as the blonde furrowed his brows.

"Why do you ask, Naruto?" Shino asked and everyone turned toward him.

Naruto blushed a little and scratched the back of his head, "Just wondering, Is all."

Several of the boys chuckled at the blonde and they stared at the genius anxiously.

"Any other women you guys want analyzed?" Shikamaru asked, now that the gang was all together.

All the guys seemed to be thinking butt couldn't seem to come up with anyone else.

"Oh! What about…hm, Anko!" Naruto yelled, just spitting out any random name.

All the other guys stared at him like he was an alien and just announced he wanted to marry Sasuke and revive the Uchiha clan.

"Dude, Anko is crazy. Like, insanely crazy." Kiba said with a shudder.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Yeah, she is kinda nuts, isn't she?"

All the guys looked at him before laughing, some simply smirking good naturedly.

"As nice as this all is," Kiba said standing up, "I've got to go train. Even though I don't need to…I can kick all of your butts soundly."

This, Of course, caused a great uproar between the boys. Calls of 'Baka',' Teme' and cries of youthfulness rang through the forest, making Shikamaru doubt the safety of his hiding place.

No sooner than he'd thought it, a piercing screech filled the forest that had all the boys frozen in their places.

"**There you are! Shikamaru!"**

All the boys looked up to see a very mad Ino Yamanaka.

"**You left me at the BBQ Restaurant all by myself!"** She marched over and started strangling him.

Soon, he was being hit with a gigantic fan being used like a bat, _"You lazyass! You were suppose to escort me!"_ The blonde Suna Princess yelled.

The boys all sweat dropped before hearing a spine chilling voice.

"_**Stop hitting my son!"**_Mrs. Nara stormed over and shooed the girls away.

"_**Shikamaru Nara! You didn't do your chores this morning!"**_ She started swinging him around and beating him on the ground while yelling about his laziness and disrespect for family rules.

She then turned, pulling him by his ankles followed by the two blondes-Still yelling death threats.

The guys stood staring off after them before bursting out laughing as soon as they were out of ear shot.

"Some genius he is!" Kiba laughed.

"Just because he knows what women want…doesn't mean he does it." Chouji said, smiling at the genius of his best friend, "He'll be back."

"After all…He does know what women want…"


End file.
